I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So vagazzling was a success
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
