I hate your face
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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