I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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