you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
