So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize