Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
