She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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