i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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