Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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