So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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