I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
