I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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