just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
