That's intense
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
