she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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