We're like a lot better than the average bears
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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