its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
