Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
