I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
