just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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