Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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