Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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