New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
