I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
