Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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