I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
