if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
