needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I fill condoms, not promises.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
