I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
