Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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