Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
