I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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