Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
