i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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