: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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