Kiss
Puke
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
