He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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