I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
