How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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