similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
