grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
