Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
