Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
