So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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