id be glad to
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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