If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
