You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
