fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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