apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
