You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
