you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize