Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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