Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
