I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
