the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize