I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Randomize
