Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
