DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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