so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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