How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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