Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
