Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
