R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
