I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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