Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
