When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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