If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
