one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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