so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
