I seem to have left my pride at pride
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize