bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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