I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
