When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
