normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
