absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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