): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
