Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
