I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
