She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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