Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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